Monday, July 13, 2015

I love running, I really do (no, REALLY)

Today's workout:
- 4 mile run
I love you.  I hate you.  I'm never running again.  I can't wait for my next race.  This is awful.  This is awesome.

No, I'm not crazy - this is how we ALL feel about running and racing at some point.  I certainly have a love hate relationship with running.  People ask me why I run and the shortest, simplest answer is that I love it.  Most of the time, that's true - some of the time, that is a bold faced lie.  I always talk on here about how much I love it but it isn't all flowers and rainbows.  If someone tells you they love running every day, all the time, that is a lie.  

My relationship with running...and the real reasons I sometimes hate it.

- I can't remember the last time I had all ten of my toenails.  

- It's awful getting out of bed at 4:30 on a Monday morning when my alarm goes off and it's dark and storming outside.

- Track workouts - I used to love these.  Then everyone and their mother decided they would walk on the tracks and it would be impossible to not walk next to each other.  Track workouts are now a constant zigzag of the desperate housewives out for their gossip exercise.

- Blisters are gross, unattractive and painful.

- When someone asks if I'm okay because my face is "really red."  I have always been like that, and that's just how my body reacts to physical exertion.  Oh, and please tell me I'm gross and sweaty after I've run 8 miles - that is exactly what I want to hear.

- Never being hydrated enough.  I drink water almost all day, every day and when I start to run, it's as though I've been trapped in a desert for days.  

- I used to wear heels every day to work.  Running has ruined that.

- Running is NOT free, even if you don't race.  You can't just run in any old gym shorts and shoes, because hello, chafing and blisters.  If you do race, entry fees are astronomical just to get a shirt you'll rarely wear after race day and a participant medal.  My husband says, "so you pay money to run a course that on any other day would be free."  Ugh.  Non-runners.

- Runner's guilt is vicious.  If you try to skip a run in your training schedule, you spend so much time dwelling on the skipped run that you would have saved a lot more time just going.

- Illness isn't just illness anymore.  A runny nose turns into snot rockets and throat clearing for 90% of the run, resulting in being out of breath in the first mile - and that's 5 days after the sickness is supposedly gone.  

- When people ask why I run.  I don't know, why do you breathe?  It's just what I do.  If you think I'm going to come up with some sort of deep thoughts on this topic, you're wrong.  In that same breath, when people ask me why I read about running - I don't know, because it's something I enjoy.

- When someone says "you're almost there" or "you look great" when I still have 3 miles to go.  No, I am not almost there and I do not look great.  I am a hot mess and I just did 10 miles and I still have 3.1 left.  I am almost there when I have .01 miles left.  

- When I'm not running, something always aches or is sore.  My feet, my knees, my shins, calves or quads.  

- I'm hungry 90% of the time (the other 10% I'm sleeping).  Especially the day after any race of a 10k or longer.  Starve Marv all day long.  Growling stomach when I wake up in the middle of the night for water.

- When people ask if I've run a marathon.  No, I haven't, but I'm really happy that your uncle's coworker's cousin has run several and that they're in great shape.

- Last but not least, tan lines.  I walked down the aisle at my wedding in a strapless dress and some pretty sweet tan lines.

I really do love running - most of the time.

What do YOU hate about running?

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